Gods control panel

The fellow who drew this was very creative, a control panel for God!

I like the references to the Old Testament, very funny!

God’s control panel

I wonder if Jesus has a control panel too?

Legal Marijuana trademark and second hand smoke laws

When President Obama announced that the Federal Government would honor States rights and not interfere with California’s medical Marijuana stores, he quietly opened the door for what may become one of the most lucrative new industries in America.

President pothead approvesvia Superpoop

Whichever State becomes the first to legalize Marijuana will reap billions of dollars in revenue as hippies from all over America descend upon their soil.

I’m convinced that it will happen eventually, but I wonder how the law is going to accommodate pot smoking?

To learn more about this, I needed to consult an industry expert, and I was able to find a real hippie to teach me more about this burgeoning market:

I consulted an industry expert

Legal Marijuana and second hand smoke laws

California is a strange place. They claim to be liberal and tolerant, yet they are known for their Nazi-like intolerance for second hand smoke.

It’s ironic that you will be able to light a spliff in a closed elevator, but God help you of you light a cigarette on a windy beach . . .

In California that don’t allow people to smoke in their car and in some places, you cannot smoke a cigarette in your own backyard!

Here is an actual “pot smoking only” sign that I photographed in Amsterdam during our market research at the Amsterdam coffee houses.

A “pot smoking only” sign

Trademark issues with legal Marijuana

Once pot becomes legal, there will be trademark brand names.

I remember the urban legend from the 1960’s that the tobacco companies had trademarked brands of marijuana, and I wondered it it was true, so I checked the U.S. Trademark office online search.

Here is the US trademark search , and a quick search for likely Marijuana Brand Names like “Reefer” but there were no drug-related trademarks!

I also searched “Acapulco Gold”, only to find tanning lotions, and searching for “Panama Red”, only yielded coffee and chewing tobacco trademarks.

I wonder of existing Marijuana brand names will get precedence, like the “Reefers”
brand of Pot that is sold at the Bulldog Café in Amsterdam?

The “Reefers” brand marijuana pack in Amsterdam

Mr. Hippie told me that they will have filtered marijuana and menthol marijuana too, just like cigarettes, but much smaller in size. He says that today’s reefer is over 100 times more potent than the 1960’s weed and the legal marijuana cigarettes will be very small, only a few inches long:

Manufactired marijuana cigarettes will be short and flared

It’s going to be interesting toi see how this plays out, when pot becomes legal and States struggle with a whole new set of rules and laws.


Window piercing with plexiglass disks

Remember the windows they put into cows at the state fair, so you could see inside their innards? Well, the concept has taken-on a new life with young people!

The cow window: Precursor to window piercing

Well, these body windows are the latest fad for humans kids!

I always wondered what the next generation would do to out-do the super-gross body piercing, and here it is, “window piercing”, a view straight into your gumline:

Window Piercing: The latest fad for attention-whore teens

Actually, the window in window piercing is not glass, it’s a Plexiglas disk embedded in the lower lip. . .

I don’t get it, why kids to these things to stand out, while most teens want to conform?

When I was a teenager, we were all conforming non-conformists, being different in exactly the same way, a rubber-stamped generation wearing flared jeans, long hair, headbands and fringed Indian guide jackets!

American aviation innovation in WWII

America’s first year of WWII was a disaster. The Navy was devastated by the cowardly attack at Pearl Harbor, the Army soldiers were murdered by the hundreds in the Brutal Bataan death march, and the Army Air Corp was chased by the Japanese from the Philippines all the way into Australia.

America needed some victory, but we were outnumbered and out-gunned by a brutal enemy whose cruelty knew no bounds.

Using old tools in new ways

The tide began to turn after innovative thinkers began to dream-up new ways to kill the Japanese scourge, using existing tools in new ways, thinking outside the box and trying new things.

Jimmy Doolittle’s bold raid on Tokyo was nothing short of revolutionary, launching a large twin engine bomber off of an aircraft carrier, something for which it was not designed to do.

You can’t do that! It was not designed for that purpose!

The Dolittle raid also an act of incredible bravery, a one-way trip to China, and a good chance of being beheaded by the douchebag Japanese if they were captured.

This picture below was a wake-up call for America, exposing a cruel and amoral enemy. This is a real picture, a reminder of what might happen to American airmen if they were captured:

War criminals: Japanese behead an American POW

It’s sad that kids today have never heard of Jimmy Doolittle, an real American hero whose innovative thinking and bravado helped turn the tide, inspiring a new generation of Americans to destroy the Japanese aggressors . . .

Dive bombing a B-17!

But there were small victories too, like a small group of young airmen in the 19th Bomb Group who broke the rules, using guts and innovation to sink a large Japanese cargo ship, against overwhelming odds.

Read this great story about about using a B-17 in ways that it was not designed to fly. This was one of my father’s favorites stories, his lesson on how to be successful by girding your loins and being brave enough to discover novel ways to use existing tools!

You can’t do that! It’s not designed to work that way!

The pilot, Bernie (Ben) Schriever, was an amazing fellow, standing 6 foot 4 four inches tall. Before he became a war hero, teenaged Schriever was a sub-par golfer who could drive a golf ball 300 yards! He appeared in “Ripley’s Believe It or Not” when he shot three consecutive eagle deuces!

Anyway, Schriever went on to become a famous 4-star general and my father got his first Distinguished Flying Cross for helping on this mission. It takes brass balls to use a B-17 as a dive bomber!

Schriver’s brass balls!

Schriever’s dive bombing a B17 was just the beginning. His innovations lived on as he implemented Mutually Assured Destruction (MAD), the technology that kept America from being attacked by the Godless Commies.

There is a new 2009 book about Bernie Schriever titled A Fiery Peace in a Cold War: Bernard Schriever and the Ultimate Weapon, highly recommended . . .

American innovation in computer technology

The innovation of American airmen is just one example of how thinking outside the box makes America great.

I learned this lesson well, and my success today is due in no small part to understanding that a little courage and innovation goes a long way to making you succeed.

To this day, I explore novel uses for computer software, using tools in ways that they were not designed!

I chuckle when I hear foreigners criticize and mock me for my novel techniques, saying the same old crap what we heard from the Luddites in WWII:

“You can’t do that! It’s not designed to work that way!”


The world’s first guide horse TV news report

We are now archiving our Guide horse television appearances, and it’s fun to look back on the early days of our experimental program!

Below is very first TV appearance of our experimental program to train guide horses for the blind.

We started using Twinkie, an achondroplastic dwarf pony who was born in 1985. She was 14 years old in 1999 when we started the experiment, and she served as a willing helper, but she was too old to housebreak, so she had to wear a diaper:

Lto R: Jen1, Twinkie and Janet

Incidentally, Twinkie is alive and well at age 25 today, but she and I have gotten a few grey hairs. She is a very smart little pony. She knows her name and comes when you call her, and she is a really good sport, like when the girls dressed her up like a seahorse:

Twinkie as a seahorse

Me, I have not changed too much since 1999, but I’ve put on a few pounds . . .

This TV report was before Janet had perfected her housebreaking of the miniature horses and before we developed sneakers to keep their hooves from slipping on slick floors!

And you think YOUR parents are embarrassing?

Andy and Jen were just young teens in 1999, and typically, they were hugely embarrassed at their parents! Every tween thinks that their parents are embarrassing, and they were mortified about our experiment until they heard their friends talking about how super-cool it was. When they said that their parents were the trainers, the friends did not believe them! Serves them right!

Just look at Jen sanding to the left of Janet, not too happy to be on TV:

Parents can be so embarassing!

Here it is, the world’s first TV News reports about our revolutionary experiment:

The confession of the butt-hole bandit

I used to work with a bunch of lawyers whose job it was to read and organize court cases, and they would e-mail us with the funniest appeals cases, including the famous case of the Denver butt-hole bandit.

It started when an inept burglar broke into a meat packing plant and made-off with a whole truckload of what he thought were prime steaks.

But instead of filet mignon, the boxes were full of fresh beef butt-holes, the stuff that you make into hot dogs . . . .

A lovely cow anus tattoo

An excited Utterance!

As he makes his escape, the crook got pulled-over by the Denver police, and when they discovered that this guy had stolen an entire truckload of buttholes, they started laughing hysterically! The crook was deeply embarrassed and shouted at the cops:

“Stop laughing at me!”

“I would not have stolen them if I knew they was a**holes!”

His confession was used against him, he was convicted, and he appealed his conviction, claiming that the police laughter was a coercive methods to extract his confession, inadmissible in court.

As I recall, he lost the battle and the judge said that police laughter caused an “excited utterance”, and exception to the rules of evidence which is admissible in court!

Veterans widow benefits help widowers get laid

Most people don’t know it, but the current GI Bill Survivor Benefit Plan does not provide pensions to all servicemen’s widows, and it’s high time that we changed the SBT to include all veterans because it helps them get laid!

It’s true; the government widows benefit was the best veterans benefit in American history and it helped thousands of elderly veterans to find sexy young wives!

After the Civil War, Abe Lincoln gave veterans on both sides of the conflict the best benefit ever, a lifetime widow’s pension, paid to the surviving spouse of any war veteran.

It’s hard to believe of the VA was paying Civil War widow pension until 2006, that’s right, survivor benefits that spanned over 140 years!

While the veterans benefit for widows sounds innocent, it’s was originally designed as a vehicle for aging veterans to attract hot sexy wives, some young enough to be their granddaughters!

Let’s give our veterans the gift that keeps on giving

Sluts for seniors

At the turn of the 20th century, the Civil War vets were a sizable voting bloc, and they got Teddy Roosevelt to rule that old age itself was a disability!

Overnight, several million of Civil War veterans lined-up to receive their veteran’s benefits, along with a lifetime of widow pension payments that ensured that the old codgers were pursued by pretty young gals, long after the became old and decrepit!

With the widows pension, a teenaged lady could marry an 80 year old veteran and within 20 years, and Voilà!, she would receive a lifetime monthly pension check!

It was a win-win for all concerned!

The old veteran’s loved having hot new brides and the young slut got lifetime monthly payments, everybody was happy.

Sure, these ladies are thinly-disguised whores, but the widow’s pension is as cheap as the women who go for them, a perfect fit!

Vixens for Veterans

It was a common practice for Civil War veterans to trade the rights to a widow pension for hot sex, and the completion was fierce, with only the youngest, sexiest women being chosen by the nasty old coots. Janet and I met one of these ladies in 1999, one the last surviving Confederate Civil War widows.

Here one example a floozy who married a veteran who was more than 50 years older than her:

“Mrs. Cave was in her 20’s when she married Henry Benjamin Cave, then a 75-year-old veteran of the South Carolina Cavalry’s Third Regiment.”

Who marries an 82 year old when she is only 21 years old?

Another skank is Alberta Martin (above), who married an 82 year old veteran and claims to have given him a son at age 84!

I’m not so sure. . . Less than 3 months after the old veteran died, she married one of his grandchildren!

Whether it was his child or not, you better believe that he was one happy old coot to be getting laid by a young sweetie in her 20’s . . .

Typical old coot Civil War veteran
My great Grandpa,
John Burleson

Even the Yankee Civil War veterans got hot young gals to marry. The last Yankee Civil War widow died in 2003.

Let’s service those who serviced America

What surprises me is how cheap it is to make an old veteran happy.

In 1927, Civil War veteran John Janeway got a 18 year old bride when he was in his 80’s, and it only cost Uncle Sam only $70 per month until her death in 2003!

The original widow’s pension program was hugely successful in getting old veterans laid, and it’s time to bring it back . . .

Make younger wives a general rule

I’m a strong supporter of improving Veteran’s benefits, and I can’t think of a better way to thank those men of who have served our country bravely than to reward them with hot young sweeties to care for them in their declining years.

Many USAF generals would agree, and being super-macho heroes they had no trouble attracting wives young enough to be their daughters.

It is not uncommon for generals to marry pretty young arm candy after their original wives die, and it’s the military equivalent of the “trophy wives” we see among successful corporate executives. For example, Gen. Chuck Yeager married a gal who is 37 years younger than him:

Chuck and Victoria Yeager- 37 years his junior

Gen. Bernie Schriever was a daring B-17 pilot who once used his B-17 as a dive bomber to take out a Japanese Freighter in Rabaul Harbor. In his later years he married pop singer Joni James, who was 20 years his junior:

Bernie Schriever married Joni James

So, why should a hot young wife be reserved only generals officers?

I say that we should help our veterans any way that we can, and a generous widow’s pension ensures that those who serve America get some sweet lovin’ in their elderly years.

Please join me in petitioning your congressman to introduce a widows Bill that would help our servicemen in their time of need.