Calynche horse scam

It has come to my attention that there are some scammers in England who have made-up a new horse breed! They call them Calynches, a regal sounding breed name pronounced “ca lynch ie”. I suspect that Calynche is a foreign word for “sucker”.

The British Calynche horse tinkers have been having a field-day ripping-off the trusting public.

“MINATURE CALYNCHE HORSES Some are even smaller than a dog!!! These incredible fabulous rare/ exotic pets have outstanding temeraments, very easy to keep”

I have over 30 miniature ponies, and I detest these greedy breeders who make-up breed names like “Miniature Clydesdale” and now “Calynche Horse”, all made-up breed names, intended to deceive people into thinking that inbred small Shetland ponies are somehow rare and expensive.

Here are some of the Calynche horse scammers.

Many extreme Calynche horses may suffer from congenital dwarfism, and they need super-expensive health care and surgery just to survive:

Greedy breeders don’t care if the ponies suffer

Some of these miserable dwarf ponies are bred on purpose, causing extreme suffering. I adopted a deformed dwarf, and he had to use a wheelchair, all because of some greedy Calynche dwarf breeder:

Breeding for dwarfism should be a felony

If you find someone peddling a dwarf Calynche horse, contact your local police to file a fraud complaint and also contact your society of prevention for cruelty to animals. Deliberately breeding for dwarfism and congenital defects should be publishable by long prison terms. . .

If you can stand to see suffering ponies, check out this web site dedicated to horse dwarfism.

Don’t support these evil Calynch horse dealers.

Income demographics of aging baby boomers

Many a frugal baby boomer is reaching the height of their incomes (ages 40 to 60), and according to income statistics, there are 12 million American millionaires (measured as any person having over $1m in assets, not counting their primary residence).

With housing prices remaining high, I often wondered who buys these new mega-homes. In my area, a upscale home in a gated neighborhood will set you back over a million dollars:

But the distribution of millionaires by State is quite interesting, with Hawaii having twice the per-capita wealthy as West Virginia. This link has some interesting data on 2006 income levels, organized by State:

Plotted, it looks like this:

For more on the changing demographics of the aging baby boomers, see my notes on the Billionaire Next Door. So far as I know, only one of my High school classmates is a billionaire, but just about everyone who got an advanced degree has earned over a million dollars in their careers:

When studying the projected earnings from an advanced college degree, I was surprised to learn that with inflation, the majority of yuppies will become millionaires.

But how much is a college degree worth? High school graduates can expect, on average, to earn about $1.2 million dollars in lifetime income, while those with a bachelor’s degree earn an average of $2.1 million over a 40 year working lifetime.

Today, only one-in-a-million Americans is a billionaire, with less then 500 USA billionaires.

British go nuts over eating Squirrels

Squirrel and other varmints have been a staple of redneck cuisine for years, but now those Europeans have now discovered our treats. Everybody loves squirrel, but you have to admit, it’s messy and the meat falls off of the bones.

Rednecks love gourmet squirrel, pre-chopped, seasoned just right to bring out the natural squirrely flavor, and served-up in its own butt.

This article reports that British people will give their left nut for squirrels and they eating these tasty tree rats in huge numbers. (It’s just a rumor that British people like squirrel because their jagged teeth are perfect for picking the meat from the squirrel bones.)

But it’s clear, the country that brought the world spotted dick and pork faggots now have a new delicacy:

“British bon vivants suddenly couldn’t get enough squirrel. Television chefs were preparing it, cookbooks were extolling it, farmers’ markets were selling out of it and restaurants in many places were offering it on the menu.”

And when you’re done eating the squirrel, they can be mounted into an attractive wall ornament:

We all remember this article in the New York Times titled Kentucky Doctors Warn Against Eating Squirrels’ Brains, where they note that squirrel brains can cause a fatal variant of Mad Cow Disease, known around here as “Mad Squirrel Disease”, and at least six people have died.

It’s no joke, there is a moratorium on eating squirrel brains in North Carolina, and many a redneck has had to switch to less desirable organs.

The cost to rent a cruise ship

People ask “how much does it cost to rent a cruise ship”?

We know someone who arranges the rental of large cruise ships, and the price for a 4,500 passenger ship (in this case, the Royal Caribbean Liberty of the Seas) rents for 9 million dollars per week (in 2007), plus a bar tab of three million dollars.

If you can get 4,000 paying customers you can make millions of dollars in profits by renting a whole cruise ship, but the risks are also high.

There are cruise ship rentals to suit every budget, anywhere from 2 million dollars per day down to $9.95 for a redneck cruise ship:

Redneck riverboat cruise ship rentals

See my full notes on redneck cruises here.

U.S. Army comic book manuals!

The U.S. Army published a comic book manual titled “Preventative Maintenance Monthly”, an extremely well done Army Manual disguised as a comic book. It’s written by men, for men, can you tell?

The baudy Army comic book manual!

You can buy these Army Comic books here on eBay. Here are some sample pages from this comic book manual. It’s sort of like those Sad Sack cartoons:

Sad Sack – The WWII Army Standard reading

It’s like the “Manja Guide to Database Management” where a fairy teaches you database:

Learn Database from a fairy!

With Johnny Bunko, this may be the future, graphic novels for technical matter.

Technical information in comic book form – The wave of the future?

I really like this Vietnam-era Armt Manual on caring for your M16-1A. The title is “treat your rifle like a lady”, and the pages on“ How to strip your baby!” are quite funny!

But the point is that people are visual critters, and illustrated manuals are a great idea, especially for highly technical information . . .

Jumping maggot cheese

I’ve eaten many strange sthings, and I’ve heard of “inhabited” cheese, delicacies with live critters inside, but this cheese is almost beyond belief, Casu marzu cheese, which contains live leaping maggots, yum:

Leaping maggot cheese

Hey, it’s on Wikipedia as maggot cheese, so it must be true. The maggots are quite good jumpers too, and you must shelter your eyes, while eating the maggot larvae alive:

“Because the larvae in the cheese can launch themselves for distances up to 15 centimetres (6 in) when disturbed, diners hold their hands above the sandwich to prevent the maggots from leaping into their eyes . .

The larvae have powerful mouthhooks which can lacerate stomach linings or intestinal walls as the maggots attempt to bore through internal organs”

This maggot cheese should be reported to the cheese enforcement agency:

Thanks Boing Boing!

Presidential pardons

It’s only a few days until the executive branch changes hands. When the parties exchange power, they start all sorts of gerrymandering; passing last-minute measures, all intended to keep their positions intact. Every year the president pardons one turkey or another:

Plan on Bush pardoning a bunch of turkeys on January 19th

Presidents even pardon other presidents, as when Gerald Ford pardoned Richard Nixon:

Pardon me? I guess “The King can do no wrong” . . .

On the last day of a presidents’ last term, they pardon all sorts of convicted felons. Here is a history of presidential pardons, by year:

A history of presidential pardons – 1789-2001

I’ve never fully understood why the founding fathers wanted this, and why they chose to give this power to the president.

Well, I can sort of understand it; George Washington was a world-away from George Bush.

Outgoing president Bush says that he will not pardon anyone who has not yet served out their sentence, but January 19th should be a very interesting news day.

Gourmet Gizzards

One Southern treat that everyone loves is a heaping helping of southern fried gizzards. While some gourmets say that the breast is the best part of the chicken, I disagree.

I’m waiting for the top chefs to discover the wonders of gizzards. The flavor is rich and chickeny, a tad gritty, with a chewy, tasty cartledge.

As anybody who has ever cleaned a chicken knows, the gizzard is a meaty sub-stomach of tight muscles, pure meat and clear gristle:

Chicken gizzards are made for grinding grain and insects

The gizzard is made for grinding grain for digestion, on its way to becoming chicken shit:

A fresh gizzard

Before Wolfgang Puck and Jeremiah Tower get wind of the wonders of southern fried gizzards, many country folks know of the pleasures of deep fried chicken gizzards:

Chicken fried gizzards are a gourmet delight!

The perfect gizzard sauce

As every gizzard gourmand knows, you need a good gizzard sauce to bring out the rich gizzardy flavors.

My gourmet Gizzard sauce recipe is simple. Just take some Apple Cider Vinegar, Coleman’s dried mustard, some honey and hot chili, and mix it to taste. These gourmet flavors combine into a sweet-sour sauce that accents the natural flavor of the gizzard, pure ambrosia!

Declining American Values and the Economic Crisis

Everybody is pointing fingers at the global recession, blaming Wall Street, Mortgage Brokers, the Banks and Uncle Sam, while forgetting the real cause of the crisis, amoral, greedy Americans.

News flash, it’s NOT greedy bankers who caused this economic meltdown:

While Obama is assembling a team of the world’s best economists to dig us out of a recession, to address the core problem we must re-visit the failure in core American values.

I hate the self-entitlement of lazy Americans. The late night infomercials say “Get the money you deserve”. Who says that you deserve anything?

Most of these people are only entitled to a swift kick in the ass.

These values of hard work, thrift and perseverance are what make America the best country in history, and we are losing ground:

Frugality – The USA savings rate hovers around zero. Everyone is compelled to spend every cent they earn and leverage themselves deeply in credit card debt.

Loyalty – America has lost enough jobs to overseas foreigners. Let’s bite the bullet and enact tariffs to keep American factories competitive. America cannot complete with developing nations where workers earn fifty cents an hours.

Honor – I saw a 60 Minutes show awhile back where a woman talked about why she let her mortgage go into foreclosure. It was all about her lost property values, and NOT A WORD about her personal responsibility to keep her word and honor her mortgage contract.

It’s time to bring-back personal responsibility to bloated, lazy self-entitled Americans, even if we must legislate their compliance:

Force contracts – All homeowners who abandoned their mortgages should be forced to return and re-negotiate the mortgages. Those who welsh should be arrested, and jailed if necessary.

Force thrift – Make it a Federal Crime for anyone to lender to give someone debt that takes them over half of their disposable income.

Let’s place the blame for this mess squarely where it belongs, on the shoulders of those Americans who have lost their scruples. . . .