Bad SQL Server database advertising

Man, this Microsoft SQL Server ad is just ridiculous.

Note to self: Run buy some more shares of Oracle:

SQL Server Gal – Yes Dorothy, it’s really that lame

“Between the crime fighting, the volunteerism, and the press engagements, SQL Server Gal has barely had time to learn her ninth language (Lithuanian) or work on her collection of 17th century quill pens (her most recent addition being the one Spinoza used when drafting his seminal work Tractatus Theologico-Politicus).”

Foreign thieves steal my web site

Foreign thieves again

I just found this today, some Indian fellow who stole my whole web page and copyrighted it in his name. It also says that I work for these foreign creeps now!

“Angtech remote DBA is managed by Donald K. Burleson, one of the world’s leading Oracle consultants and authors”

These people are crooks.

Read more about the foreigners who steal intellectual property.

World record sale price at Arabian horse auction!

World record set for Polish Arabian horse!

The highest price paid at auction in history, 2.8 million dollars for a Bask-bred Arabian, Baske Afire, a Bask great-grandson, at the Scottsdale auction!

His new owner is Barbara Chur of Strawberry Banks Farm in New York

Interestingly, Baske Afire is an Afire Bey V son (and, of course, a Huck grandson)! The previous record was *Muscat, who went for only two million back in the 1970’s.

Baske Afire – Sold for $2,800,000.00

Prices are coming up again for Bask Polish horses, a good sign with all of our Bask bloodlines. Check out this CNN video, a beautiful stallion, all action, high action.

Baske Afire Video

I’ll bet his stud fees are going up soon, very soon.

Polish Performance Power!

Burleson Arabians is dedicated to breeding the Polish Arabian Performance horse, pure Polish Performance Power . . . . Too many halter horses are bred exclusively for looks, resulting in too much type and not enough action:

Too much dish?

Our horses, Successor, Praetor, Sarah, Rye, are also *Bask grandchildren, but not the same exact line as Baske Afire, but the same breed standard nonetheless . . . .

Our Bask Afire was the son of the most popular paring of all-time, the *Bask x Susecion cross. Note his level croup, which belies his extreme high action, quite decaptive to find a hose with both beauty and power:

Bask Afire

Our Bask grandson Successor, has also won numerous championships:

Suscessor – A *Bask Grandson

It’s great to know that all of our linebreeding research has been replicated by other top breeders and that Polish Arabians have such interest in the market again.

Maybe it’s time to start consigning at auctions again . . . . . Nah, it would be like selling a family member . . . . .

Golf Maximum score per hole

Every golfer has to deal with the occasional bad hole where a double-digit score unfairly skews their handicap and ruin their round. Many golf professionals insist that you should always record your actual strokes, no matter how bad, but the USGA has rules on this issue.

I once saw a fellow toss 8 golf balls into a water hazard, determined to make it over from where his ball landed, all because he had seen Tiger do it on TV!

Equitable Stroke Control (ESC) is the maximum allowed individual hole scores to more accurately represent a player’s scoring “potential”, and forgiving a bad hole!

It’s very embarassing to have a nightmare hole, but at the same time, one bad hole should not skew your scores on the other holes.

Your Handicap Maximum stroke score per hole

up to 9 Double Bogey
10 through 19 7
20 through 29 8
30 through 39 9
40 or higher 10

Read more about how to determine your maximum score per hole:

Let's get tough on hackers

I have many clients with web sites and it never ceases to amaze me how much bandwidth on the web is dedicated to criminal activities.

IN a security test for a client, we put out a “honey pot” (an enticing web site), and watched as hackers found the web site in less than 30 minutes, and we watched them break in and do their dirty work!

The guy even upgraded the release of Linux on the server, so that his Viagara spam script would work!

This New York Times article “Make Big Profits Illegally (and Maybe Keep Them, Too)”, shows the epidemic of hacking, and now we see that the hacker and criminals are being rewarded, due to ludicrous loopholes in the SEC laws. THIS IS NOT RIGHT:

“Dorozhko’s alleged ‘stealing and trading’ or ‘hacking and trading’ does not amount to a violation” of securities laws, Judge Naomi Reice Buchwald of United States District Court ruled last month.

Although he may have broken laws by stealing the information, the judge concluded, “Dorozhko did not breach any fiduciary or similar duty ‘in connection with’ the purchase or sale of a security.” She ordered the S.E.C. to let him have his profits.”

Let’s get tough on crooks

China attacks US government systems daily, and the hackers know that there are no consequences for their acts. It’s time to change that.

“The judge appreciated the absurdity of the situation, and expressed disappointment that the Justice Department had not brought criminal charges for computer hacking.

The government has offered no explanation for that, but it is possible the department saw no likelihood of ever being able to arrest Mr. Dorozhko, and did not think the case worth the trouble.”

If we got the CIA to start killing these web criminals, maybe the word would get out. Plus, the US should start enforcing laws against those who make money with tools that aid and abet web criminals.

Some good books can be abused by bad guys

eBay had become a den of thieves, and the webopolies do not have the best interests of the American consumer in-mind.

Why do we have laws against aiding and abetting a criminal if they are not enforced?

“A criminal charge of aiding and abetting or accessory can usually be brought against anyone who helps in the commission of a crime, though legal distinctions vary by state.

A person charged with aiding and abetting or accessory is usually not present when the crime itself is committed, but he or she has knowledge of the crime before or after the fact, and may assist in its commission through advice…”

For more on the legal issues on the web, see my book “Web Stalkers”:

The Real Guitar Hero!

In this age where kids play “pretend guitar” with Guitar Hero II, it’s refreshing to see kids like my son who have the Moxie (*) to get out there and play in a real band, in Andy’s case, Hot John Stockton.

As to the silly Guitar Hero game, it’s for losers. They need a better game for losers, with instruments that losers can identify with:

It takes guts to go out and play in a crowded student ghetto bar, and I give him a lot of credit.

Here are some Youtube videos of Andy Burleson’s new band “Hot John Stockton”:

Hot John Stockton live!

Hot John Stockton rocks the house!

Me, I played cymbals in high school band, and I’m glad to see that he picked a better instrument that I did.

Andy is gonna make a great attorney, he loves to argue. A chip of the old block, I remember the fun of confronting religious weirdo’s with their own warped logic.

Andy abuses a warped religious nut.

After watching this, I wondered about his Faith, and I was surprised to see a Bible on the seat of his pickup truck. I asked him about it and he said that he used it when he went to a costume party dressed as a Christian!!! Oh well, it’s a start, I suppose . . . .

His picture reminds me of the cover for the Faith + 1 album, very dark and brooding, the essence of cool!

Andy has always been a talented musician. He plays a mean jazz trombone, piano and guitar, both electric lead and bass.

It looks like he has screaming groupies too:

Having inherited my smarts and good looks, Andy can’t lose:

I love Gary Larson’s cartoons, and this one hits the nail right on the head:

It’s like those DeVry ads on TV, suggesting that morons can learn to write advanced graphics for video games. The stupidity of the average American never ceases to surprise me. DeVry is a joke. I know graduates with degrees in computer science who never learned to program in any language. Contrast that with MIT, where programming skills are not considered college-level learning, and they expect you to be proficient in C before class starts.

Anyway, I’m glad to see there is room for real musicians:

(*) It takes Moxie

Moxie is a noxious-tasting soda where the slogan began “It takes Moxie”, to refer to someone with the guts to drink this nasty concoction.

According to M. Allen Greenbaum, Moxie was originally a “tonic”, a usual practice to tout the health benefits of anything that tastes really bad:

“Doctor Thompson, Moxie’s inventor, began the Moxie Nerve Food Company in Lowell, Massachusetts, which advertised the drink as a safe “… nerve food known that can recover brain and nervous exhaustion, loss of manhood, imbecility and helplessness.”

You can still buy this noxious brew on Amazon, but with S&H, a six pack will set you back more than $70 dollars.

Let me wrap-up with a good ole Redneck story:

Two rednecks walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the rednecks looks at her and says, ‘Kin ya swallar?’

The woman shakes her head no.

Then he asks, ‘Kin ya breathe?’

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The redneck walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the redneck walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says:

‘Ya know, I’d heerd of that there ‘Hind Lick Maneuver’ but I ain’t niver seed nobody do it!’

A golf celebrity visits the ranch!

Most golfers know what they want in a residential pitch and putt, and when I decided to move forward with my project, I needed someone that I could trust to manage the project, an honest PGA professional with unimpeachable credentials, industry contacts and the savvy to get the residential course done right, on-time and under budget.

We trusted Brad Clayton, a PGA Master professional to help us navigate the labyrinthine maze of complex tasks.

Brad Clayton

We were thrilled to have a celebrity at the ranch, none other than Rick Robbins, a designer of some of the world best golf courses.

Rick had a few days break from his work in China, and it was great fun to hear his tales of jetting around the globe in a Learjet G3 with his good friend Jack Nicklaus.

Rick Robbins takes charge!

Rick was Jack Nicklaus’ Senior Design Associate and his latest course, the Mill Creek Golf Club in Mebane, North Carolina was named, “Best New Course” in North Carolina by the golf panel of North Carolina magazine.

Rick was able to advise landscapers on the best turf (419 Bermuda in our case), and the best artificial turf for the putting and chipping areas. Rick as also able to advise us on the best sand for our traps.

Right now, it’s all plowed ground, but taking shape quickly:

The first hole – A tabla rasa

Sadly, Rick was unable to advise us on how to keep the barn cats from using the sand trap as a litter box, and one of our ranch hands will have to scoop it out every day.

Cat’s suck

Brad is an amazing golf instructor. He lost his own right arm, but he does not let his handicap prevent him from being one of the best golf teachers I’ve ever worked with. Brad also donates his time to teach veteran amputees, a charitable service that has brought the joy of golf to worthy wounded servicemen and women. We have decided to invest in a golf book by him:

Brad Clayton’s golf book

Read more about our evolving pitch and putt course here:

Cruise ship quack doctors

Most cruise passengers don’t realize that the cruise lines provide medical care as a courtesy only, and they are not required to staff their facilities with qualified American doctors or nurses. You must carefully vet their medical training and certifications before consenting to medical treatment, your life might depend on it.

Under ancient maritime and admiralty law, the captain appoints a ship doctor. They often chose the cook, since they were good with knives.

I have many clients through the Caribbean and over the years I’ve learned to always ask for a M.D., when I am in need of any medical assistance. I have experienced horrendous care by “doctors” overseas, including one physician who told my wife that her joint inflammation was due to her unforgiven sins, and prescribed that she bath in the blood of Jesus Christ!

Foreign physicans are quacks

I recently had a serious injury on a cruise ship, and I knew that I was going to be in trouble when the cruise ships “doctor” reminded me of the dumb-looking guy who works at my local hippie herbal cure store.

Would you trust an African doctor?

Me: “Are you an M.D.?”

Quack: “I’m a doctor”.

Me: “So was my College History Professor”, I replied.

Me: “I’ll ask you again: Are you an M.D.? It’s a simple question, you are either an M.D. or you aren’t.”

Quack: No response. . . .

In the cruise ship medical facility, my wife is trying to reach a “real doctor” while I was bombarded with a bunch of half-English babble.

Quack doctor: “Do you take Blutiners?”

Me: “What is Blutiner”? I’ve never heard of the word.

Quack doctor: “You speak English”, he replied in an underserved arrogant tone. “You need to be cooper rahtive”.

Me: “Cooper-ah-tive? What the F**k does cooper-rahtive mean”? (The idiot was trying to say cooperative)

Don’t suffer fools gladly when vetting a foreign doctor

I was then told that I had only three choices:

1. Refuse treatment
2. Accept their treatment
3. Be “put off the ship”to find a real doctor on my own. At this point I had visions of being sent adrift on a lifeboat.

After all, I asked myself, how bad could they screw-up a simple IV line and meds?

Read more of my notes on the perils of foreign doctors on cruise ships.