The confession of the butt-hole bandit

I used to work with a bunch of lawyers whose job it was to read and organize court cases, and they would e-mail us with the funniest appeals cases, including the famous case of the Denver butt-hole bandit.

It started when an inept burglar broke into a meat packing plant and made-off with a whole truckload of what he thought were prime steaks.

But instead of filet mignon, the boxes were full of fresh beef butt-holes, the stuff that you make into hot dogs . . . .


A lovely cow anus tattoo

An excited Utterance!

As he makes his escape, the crook got pulled-over by the Denver police, and when they discovered that this guy had stolen an entire truckload of buttholes, they started laughing hysterically! The crook was deeply embarrassed and shouted at the cops:

“Stop laughing at me!”

“I would not have stolen them if I knew they was a**holes!”

His confession was used against him, he was convicted, and he appealed his conviction, claiming that the police laughter was a coercive methods to extract his confession, inadmissible in court.

As I recall, he lost the battle and the judge said that police laughter caused an “excited utterance”, and exception to the rules of evidence which is admissible in court!

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