Veterans widow benefits help widowers get laid

Most people don’t know it, but the current GI Bill Survivor Benefit Plan does not provide pensions to all servicemen’s widows, and it’s high time that we changed the SBT to include all veterans because it helps them get laid!

It’s true; the government widows benefit was the best veterans benefit in American history and it helped thousands of elderly veterans to find sexy young wives!

After the Civil War, Abe Lincoln gave veterans on both sides of the conflict the best benefit ever, a lifetime widow’s pension, paid to the surviving spouse of any war veteran.

It’s hard to believe of the VA was paying Civil War widow pension until 2006, that’s right, survivor benefits that spanned over 140 years!

While the veterans benefit for widows sounds innocent, it’s was originally designed as a vehicle for aging veterans to attract hot sexy wives, some young enough to be their granddaughters!

Let’s give our veterans the gift that keeps on giving

Sluts for seniors

At the turn of the 20th century, the Civil War vets were a sizable voting bloc, and they got Teddy Roosevelt to rule that old age itself was a disability!

Overnight, several million of Civil War veterans lined-up to receive their veteran’s benefits, along with a lifetime of widow pension payments that ensured that the old codgers were pursued by pretty young gals, long after the became old and decrepit!

With the widows pension, a teenaged lady could marry an 80 year old veteran and within 20 years, and Voilà!, she would receive a lifetime monthly pension check!

It was a win-win for all concerned!

The old veteran’s loved having hot new brides and the young slut got lifetime monthly payments, everybody was happy.

Sure, these ladies are thinly-disguised whores, but the widow’s pension is as cheap as the women who go for them, a perfect fit!

Vixens for Veterans

It was a common practice for Civil War veterans to trade the rights to a widow pension for hot sex, and the completion was fierce, with only the youngest, sexiest women being chosen by the nasty old coots. Janet and I met one of these ladies in 1999, one the last surviving Confederate Civil War widows.

Here one example a floozy who married a veteran who was more than 50 years older than her:

“Mrs. Cave was in her 20’s when she married Henry Benjamin Cave, then a 75-year-old veteran of the South Carolina Cavalry’s Third Regiment.”

Who marries an 82 year old when she is only 21 years old?

Another skank is Alberta Martin (above), who married an 82 year old veteran and claims to have given him a son at age 84!

I’m not so sure. . . Less than 3 months after the old veteran died, she married one of his grandchildren!

Whether it was his child or not, you better believe that he was one happy old coot to be getting laid by a young sweetie in her 20’s . . .

Typical old coot Civil War veteran
My great Grandpa,
John Burleson

Even the Yankee Civil War veterans got hot young gals to marry. The last Yankee Civil War widow died in 2003.

Let’s service those who serviced America

What surprises me is how cheap it is to make an old veteran happy.

In 1927, Civil War veteran John Janeway got a 18 year old bride when he was in his 80’s, and it only cost Uncle Sam only $70 per month until her death in 2003!

The original widow’s pension program was hugely successful in getting old veterans laid, and it’s time to bring it back . . .

Make younger wives a general rule

I’m a strong supporter of improving Veteran’s benefits, and I can’t think of a better way to thank those men of who have served our country bravely than to reward them with hot young sweeties to care for them in their declining years.

Many USAF generals would agree, and being super-macho heroes they had no trouble attracting wives young enough to be their daughters.

It is not uncommon for generals to marry pretty young arm candy after their original wives die, and it’s the military equivalent of the “trophy wives” we see among successful corporate executives. For example, Gen. Chuck Yeager married a gal who is 37 years younger than him:

Chuck and Victoria Yeager- 37 years his junior

Gen. Bernie Schriever was a daring B-17 pilot who once used his B-17 as a dive bomber to take out a Japanese Freighter in Rabaul Harbor. In his later years he married pop singer Joni James, who was 20 years his junior:

Bernie Schriever married Joni James

So, why should a hot young wife be reserved only generals officers?

I say that we should help our veterans any way that we can, and a generous widow’s pension ensures that those who serve America get some sweet lovin’ in their elderly years.

Please join me in petitioning your congressman to introduce a widows Bill that would help our servicemen in their time of need.


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